#REVIEW: “THE MONKEY”

Review by Nicholas Porteous for Mr. Will Wong

In Osgood Perkins’ followup to Longlegs, a haunted toy monkey inexplicably causes the grisly deaths of many, and Theo James (as a set of identical twins) might be the only person(s) who can even begin to understand what’s going on. But when you can’t disassemble or trash it, how does one stop an evil toy? The Monkey asks ‘what if Stephen King wrote a Goosebumps book?’ The answer: a hyperviolent, 18A yarn that simultaneously feels like it’s designed to appeal to 7-year-olds, but also should never be consumed by seven-year-olds. It’s a real head-scratcher, and not in a fun way.

For the record, I’m not seven years old and I can’t say I found The Monkey funny. I was numb to the surprise of exploding limbs and bodies around twenty minutes in. The Screenplay leans so hard into nearly every character being a huge jerk that I couldn’t even find the strength to cross my fingers and hope they might somehow be okay. And despite being wrapped in horror tropes and the Stephen King brand, I’m not even sure I could call The Monkey a Horror movie. Every potential scare is telegraphed and played for cheap laughs. I can’t think of a single truly scary moment that isn’t overwhelmed by the same goofy, grinning quality embodied by the monkey itself.

Then you have the strange casting of James as our derpy underdog protagonist. If you’re not familiar, the man looks like a million dollars. He’s cut like a Greek god, and he reads like a heartthrob movie star. Mike White just deployed him very successfully as the vain bully in season two of The White Lotus. So why is he playing a guy who everyone writes off and gets clowned on by the likes of a particularly nerdified Elijah Wood? James’ natural presence works so hard against the obvious loser-trying-to-do-good dynamic here, and Perkins‘ only answer is to slap some thin frames on his face. On top of this, James doesn’t appear to have the range to play two distinct characters or develop a slightly different voice for either, so whenever he’s in the same room with his twin, it feels like one person talking to himself. And when the twins are in the same shot, things get even more awkward. The weird part is The Monkey also features Tatiana Maslany, the master of playing as many twins as you could possibly want. She’s RIGHT THERE.

I will say The Monkey drew more than a few howls from the audience at my screening, so if you get a kick out of nonstop gore, be my guest. I’d rather reread my dusty copy of Say Cheese and Die or Night of the Living Dummy.

Elevation Pictures release THE MONKEY February 21, 2025.